Quitting Dreamer?!

'but somewhere along the way,

we abandon our dreams, forget our dreams".......

                                                                ~Dosage III: Beautiful Dreamer 

So many things have been going thru my mind lately. Namely, if I should retire as a singer /songwriter....retire the artist known as Green Tea. Those thoughts have been circling my mind for months.  If  I should give up the fight of pursuing the dream. I still have no answer. 

One, its truly hard for me to quit anything. People who know me, know that I am one of the most competitive person ever. I have been given the middle finger while playing Taboo and have been curtly excused from a dinner date due to scrabble and injustices lol. I love challenges and they motivate me. My husband knows that if someone's tell me no, then that will fuel me to prove them wrong. In fact, thats how Dosage III, came to be. Someone wanted to give me a bad demo deal and I was like uhh...wait, I can do this myself.  I have been told no several times by many but in the end have succeeded by just putting one foot in front of the other and shaking off the blows that come with the pursuit of the dream.  But in the past couple of months, thoughts circle my head repeatedly about letting go and moving on. I don't know if its because I'm getting older and have a family or what.

I will say as an artist, I feel I have grown year after year since entering the music game, green eyed, in 2004. I feel my music has a purpose and have helped many, but not on the scale that I would like.   I feel like at times there is a wall that permits  me from going forward and I have no idea what it is.  I guess thats the part that hurts me to my core. Knowing that I have this gift of singing and songwriting and not the proper platform to share it. Thats when the thought comes in that maybe this is it. And then I have performances that are golden and highlight that this is what I'm supposed to be doing.

 Then the other thought that Dreams and Purposes are not all fairy tales filled with wispy clouds twirling around, comes in. They take work, dedication, sacrifice, and balance. But when is enough enough is the question? Just sharing my thoughts and feelings... would love to hear your thoughts.

 In  growth, in love, in healing,

Green Tea

Tea Time w/ Green Tea & B.(Empowered) are 1

Its been a while since I blogged, but I'm back. The last time you heard from me, I was at the Grammys. I definitely took in and processed every detail of the experience so I'd be prepared in the future for when I accept my Grammy.  It was definitely an eyeopening experience to see things as they occurred behind the scenes. I definitely will attend again. More than ever, I realize that my mission: to encourage people to grow, love, and heal via music is needed:) So, I'm here to stay:)

Since returning from the Grammy's I've been working hard, performing, songwriting,  solidifying my brand, being active in the grammy association, baking, loving, and everything in between to spread the music :) and you guys have been in my corner cheering me along the way.  I so appreciate you alls support too, it definitely doesn't go unnoticed. It means the world. You, Greenteaslovers, hold me down!

Okay so now that we are semi- caught up (there's so much more but we have time to catch up over the next blog posts).... Guess What?!! Tea Time with Green Tea is Back! Yes, I listen lol! So many people reported in that they missed Tea Time with Green Tea and so we  brought it back! We are combining it with the blog and I'm so excited:) It's here:)  I need you to be active and involved in it too!  Let me know your thoughts, send in your questions to greenteasoul@greenteasoul.com all that:)
Check it out! comment on this here blog & YouTube:) check it out!

Tea Time w/Green Tea: Love

Life after the Grammys

So it's been a little over a week since attending the Grammys and I'm still at a loss for words. I have mixed emotions about the entire experience. On one hand, it was an honor to experience the ceremony & witness the behind the scenes stuff and on the other hand, I questioned why i was I there. Like how do I fit in this world of, who are you?, what do you do?, who do u know ?, how do i make sure I outshine the next just to get new contacts? I saw that everywhere I went. It was like people upon people trying to climb their way up and honestly I was instantly homesick and disappointed with the realization that I didn't fit in. I guess some may call it a weakness but I genuinely want to connect and not just discipher in 5 minutes rather they are worthy of my time (based upon if they can advance my career). But that's just me.

Above all I was left with the question where do I fit in? Where is the spot that is just for me here, in hollywood. I'm still searching: and learning. Overall the Grammys are def an experience and you learn so much about the process. I am def constantly preparing myself and learning how to be the artist I want to be.
Practice makes perfect :)

Dreams, to be or not to be

At the top of every year, I construct an illustrative dream board noting my dreams goals and aspirations. Flashback, to last year's dream board, at the top of the year, I had a word on there that said Grammy. In May 2012, I took a picture with the word Grammy at my album release party (we wrote down our dreams and posed with them). Just so you know, my dream is to be awarded a grammy:). Now, a year later I'm sitting for the flight to Cali to attend the Grammys:) Wowzers! God is truly awesome:) Now, I'm not being a awarded with a Grammy YET, but I am preparing myself to accept the award with this trip. It's all a process... And our process is predicated on the decisions we make or not make.

Faith without works is ... Dead. So in essence, every belief or dream, should have a supportive action.... Without the supportive action steps, dream float away and seem unreachable. I started with a dream and a word. Once I said It was a goal, i took action steps to achieve it (i.e renew my grammy membership, attend more events, connect with like minded folks, etc). No magic wand made it happen, but my actions to support my beliefs made it happen. Now, I haven't received my GRammy yet, and know that its not because I didn't try this year lol (I made the Grammy entry nomination list), . But I'm not afraid (wait I'm lying, sometimes I am) to act on what I believe. I guess it comes down to how bad you want your dream to be or not be.
Welp gotta board the plane ttyl let me know your thoughts

GT

Let's Just B.E.

I am who I am.  I am a person who loves learning, adventure, singing, dancing, baking, writing, reading, loving, motivating others, family time, laughing, working out, exploring, dreaming, creating, etc. I'm all those things, but not necessarily in that order:).  In the past, I'd try to have strict separations between my loves.  For example, I'd try to separate the artist in me, Green Tea, from the Praise & Worship member and leader, Tekeah.  In my mind, they had to be different. More specifically, Tekeah had to be different from Green Tea, especially in the church.  I don't know where that idea or thought came from but it was there.  I can remember ever so vividly trying to be like something I wasn't. But then there was a shift when I realized that Green Tea is me. Green Tea is how I sing in the clubs and also how I sing in church.  The only difference is my attire (as I'm not wearing a church uniform to my singing engagements lol Ever). My heart is the same. 

 But, I remember, as if if was yesterday, when I felt the merge....ha ha when Green Tea accidentally slipped out while leading praise and worship....it was there where I felt, this is you and who I've called you to B.E. Since that moment, I've been learning how to b.e. (be empowered). Slowly but surely, I've realized that I don't have to separate pieces of me. I am who I am. I be who I be. All the things that I enjoy and love are the ingredients that make me.  Hence, the revamping of this blog:)  Welcome! No longer will you get separate components music, health, family, etc....you're going to get it all lumped in one, right here on this blog. As all the parts are intertwined, so its no point in separating them:) 

**aside: I think a lot of artists experience a lot of sadness and or turmoil, because their image does not coincide with the core of who they are and what they believe....and then when they try to actually be who they are, they are generally rejected or experience internal conflict.  Do you know of any artists who have gone thru this? I can name a few.

I wonder, what things are you separating that could/should be together? Let me know your thoughts:)

Talk to ya soon:)

Summer COnfessions 2012

I admit,that over the last couple of days.... (*ahem* clears throat)...I meant the last couple of weeks, the consecutive sunny weather days and smell of barbecue has brought out every crave in my body.  I  salivate just thinking about what summer means to me. LOL. I mean seriously, my thoughts are of crabs, watermelon, Rita's Gelati, McDonald's vanilla cone, barbecue chicken, ribs, crabs, slurpees, fireballs, burnt hot dogs, shrimp, Chick Fila Milk Shakes, cinnamon toast crunch....hmmm and am I forgetting anything...oh yeah crabs and uhhh crabs!!! Lol!

So all  the above has been on my mind...amongst other things (buying a new house, being a mother, pursuing music, coordinating performances, selling albums (*sidebar* my new album, Dosage III: The Time to B.E. is on iTunes get it today http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/dosage-iii-the-time-to-b.e./id525731698).  Ha Ha, back to what I was saying. I don't know why summer equals great food to me, but I confess I've been giving in to almost every craving. Then it hit me. I've been a bit overwhelmed by my emotions lately. Honestly, I've been stressed and its easy to fall into old habits when you're stressed. So I craved all the foods that make me do the "happy food dance" to take the focus off of whatever i'm feeling emotionally. I know this isn't the first time that I've written about emotional eating...and this here prob won't be my last.  I'm learning how to master this thing.  I will say that that other night, instead of reaching for my little night time cinnamon toast crunch snack, I put on my workout clothes and walked on the treadmill for an hour.  I didn't walk at a super fast pace, but I just walked and listened to music. I allowed the music to take me down different memories and I laughed and just walked off the blues and stressors. I needed that moment to feel and get moving. So sometimes when you crave all of your favorites...ask yourself, do i really want this or am I using this to make me feel good temporarily. Am I the only one who has been there? Let me know your thoughts:)

You can even see the difference in these before and after workout pics.

What They Don't Tell You About Losing Weight!

This past week, I did an interview to promote my forthcoming album, Dosage III: The Time to B.E. and during the interview I made a comment..."I lost 48 lbs...now when people see me..they are like..hey, you look like? who are you..." Yes....I feel like that is the story my life.  I joke about it during the video, but honestly speaking, it is definitely an adjustment and was quite hurtful in the beginning (and I'm still getting used to it). Yes, it's great to lose weight...but I think...in fact, I know, that I was unprepared for people's responses and the emotions that come along with losing weight.

People don't share that side of it. They don't tell you how to adjust to getting used to a new body or losing some of your prized positions (my boobs lol...which if you know me, you know those were my favorites lol). They don't talk about the adjustment you have to make in your mind when you're used to being a certain way for years. Like your mind has to catch up with your weight-loss so you can begin to see yourself differently.  I don't think I ever talked about it on my blog...only amongst my close friends.

Imagine this, you are out on the music scene, and when people say your name...Green Tea...there are puzzled looks or questionable looks as if you are an imposter of the artist Green Tea. If I could share how many times, I've said, "Yeah it's me, I just lost a little weight,"  I think I'd be rich...or how many times I'd say hello to my fellow artist peers and they don't know who I am. ..the surprised..."oh Hey" (talk about feeling invisible).  It's not only the stares though, its the comments, "ooh your beautiful now, " its the increase in flattery, etc. all that. I was just at a salad bar of a restaurant the other day, and a guy there at the salad bar was like..."girl you tiny, put some pasta on your plate." Believe it or not that was  his attempt to pose flattery or establish small talk to get my phone #.  As my friend Nicole would say, Boy By!  So its stuff like that I laugh off, but they do have a bit of sting here and there. In fact, as an artist I stopped going out as much because I just didn't want to deal with it...the stares, explanations, etc. Afterall, I'm like where y'all been?... I just lost weight, I've been beautiful and all those other things....dang, what was I before, to y'all.  But, what I realize is that people will be people and the show will go on with or without you. So I just wanted to share that the process of losing weight isn't over when you get to your goal...it's still a journey and  a process. I'm adjusting and working towards having my mind and body be on the same page and I think that's something that isn't quite shared or talked about as often. So that's the skinny on what they don't tell you about losing weight.

Let me know your thoughts:) & please encourage others to join the blog:)