I need some me time---

 Let me tell you about a fantabulous woman:) My grandmother, the world's biggest most caring person is known for taking care of everybody and even their grandmother, lol. In fact, the running joke is that when you came home,  you didn't know who was going to be in the house taking residence on the sofa...as my grandmother would often take in family members, people off the street, etc.

Growing up, I saw my grandmother take care of countless people and even heard of her caretaking days pre-Tekeah (you know, before i was born). So keeping that same line of caretaking, my first job out of grad school was a social worker with therapeutic foster care kids...needless to say, I was taking care of other people's childen, and everything in between. I knew their date of births, their last dental, physical, vision, etc. ..all that and then some. I learned as a social worker that when working with people and their lives, something is always going on as people's lives never stop. I mean they never stop!! I also learned during my almost 6 year tenure as a social worker that I created a dangerous pattern of putting others before me.

This pattern left me, sadly overweight, depressed, and unhappy. I can't eat lunch because I "had to do" others people's stuff.  I seemed to always say yes when I should have said no.  As I've transitioned to healthy living, I've realized my worth, my value, and how important it is for me to make time for me and also for me to say no when it is at the expense of my happiness or my mental health wellfare.   Think about this...out of 24 hours in the day, what time have you made for yourself? I know for some you have kids, you have work , you have this....but let me tell you this...because you have all these things YOU MUST plan your ME TIME. You are that important to plan time for you....even if its reading 5 pages of a must read book while using the bathroom (away from the kids, lol,etc). Create that me-time happiness for you---you are that important--and its essential to healthy living:)

Share how you created your "ME" Time space:

I'll start, there is a certain meeting I go to on Saturday mornings, when I could work those days (make some extra money for some future planning lol)...but that time is my time! It keeps me balanced...and unless I'm out of town! I'm there with bells on:)...cuz its my time!

ROund 2!! 1-2-3...R U OUT FOR THE COUNT!!

I just finished searching the internet  (google can find almost anything:) for an excerpt from one of my fellow artsy colleagues, Olu Butterfly. I remember doing a show with her and she performed this piece called, Can I Go Back to Your Place. The poem talks about returning to a past love that ended horribly....pretty much going against the grain of logic.  Check out these excerpts...

go back to your place
as if it would be provided
a restraining order
against my stalker: loneliness
back for a second helpin
of fatback soakin in lard
with a side order of bacon, egg&cheese
after i just had a heart attack
is you crazy?

 can i afford to incur more debt
to reenter rehab
to pick myself up
like a flat furry animal
by the side of a highway
& reinsert myself
into rush hour traffic

 
Her words really capture what is approaching us in the next couple of weeks, a decision as to whether we are going to let  unhealthy living return and have a seat at our tables (ha ha food can also be our lovers too).  So many at this time think that since they went out of control for Thanksgiving that they might as well continue on the downward spiral..which I like to think is synonymous with Olu's line "pick myself up like a flat furry animal by the side of a highway a reinsert myself into rush hour traffic."  Just last year, and the year before that, and then some, was how I did things. I ain't lyin! I felt so bad after Turkey day that I was like I might as well continue and I appeased my sadness and guilt for more cake (my love lol).  But that was the old me:) Now I find that at any time, we can stop, make a decision, and do differently. You'd be amazed as to how much a little change will change the outcome of a situation. So I just wanted to encourage you that its not over. At any time, you  can stop, decide to do something different, and get different results. So what say you..?

Are you out for the count? ..or are u getting back in the swing of things:) tee hee!! Lets gooooo!!! Post your comments:)

Somebody almost walked off with my stuff!

Excerpt from poem featured in the movie For Colored Girls Only....

somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff

somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff 
not my poems or a dance i gave up in the street
 but somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff
like a kleptomaniac workin hard & forgettin while stealin
 this is mine/this aint yr stuff/
now why don’t you put me back & let me hang out in my own self
somebody almost walked off wit alla my stuff 
& didn’t care enuf to send a note home sayin 
i was late for my solo conversation
 or two sizes to small for my own tacky skirts

I was having a conversation with one of my sisters, Aiysha, when we were talking about the line from the movie, For Colored Girls,  "somebody almost walked off with my stuff." It got me thinking about this journey towards healthy living and how when we subconciously let unhealthy living literally walk off with our stuff!!

 What do I mean? Think about this----

Obesity/Unhealthy living is highly associated with depression------  
"Somebody walkin off with my joy."

 Being overweight is associated with a low self-esteem----
"Somebody walkin off with my confidence and self-esteem and didn't even tell me?"

Obesity is associated with premature death and sickness and disease-----
"Somebody has sentenced me to an early death and didn't even leave me a note"

So many things we can put there, its crazy. In fact, I didn't even realize all the benefits of transitioning to a healthy life style until I actually did it.  It wasn't until I actually saw results that I made the decision that I was not gonna let unhealthy living walk off with my confidence, my self-esteem and most of all my life. I WANT MY STUFF!!! ALL OF IT! In fact, right now I am redeeming the time from when I allowed unhealthy living to steal my stuff.

My question to you--Are you going to willingly let something continue to take your stuff!!!

Post your comments

Surviving Thanksgiving!! What did u learn?!!

So I have good news, good news, good news!! I survived my first Thanksgiving! I did it!
I did the weigh-in check after Thanksgiving and found that I hadn't gained any pounds! Zero!!
I remained the same!! I don't know about you but that is great news knowing that I have had cake, home made ice-cream and a deluctible log roll of some sort (My boyfriend's daughter made it and it was delicious) in addition to the traditonal Thanksgiving foods.

I tested my little program to get in extra exercise and the two meals before the big meal and it worked.  What is the most interesteding, is that last week was filled with challenges. Prior to me making my food and workout plan, I had sprained my ankle in Step class the Monday before Thanksgiving.  I thought I would be okay, but found hours later that I was in severe pain and could not walk. You don't realize how much you appreciate your legs and feet until you are crawling to and from the bathroom.
Althought I was in pain, my thought was WAIT!! Thanksgiving is coming...I need to work out. So, I decided that I would contine to find a creative way to work out even though I had hurt my ankle. Check this out! My sprained ankle did not stop my committment to healthy living:

It payed off. In addtion, to doing that work out, I also did a pre-Thanksgiving work out as well. Which I had sooo much fun doing it! I love dancing:) Tee hee and it was fun:) woo hoo! Check it out!

So my question is Thanksgiving has come and gone...what have you learned:)....what can you do better...cuz guess what Christmas is coming!!!

I'mma Have My Cake and Eat it Too!!

Have you ever wondered the meaning behind the proverb, " you can't have your cake and eat it too." Well its a figure of speech that means that you can't have it both ways  or you can't have the the best of both worlds....you have to choose one or the other. Well I was using the phrase one time and I thought...why can't I have my cake and eat it too. In fact, I want my cake and I'mma eat it too!! LOL!!

You see, I've realized that what has helped me to be consistent and stay on target as it concerns transitioning to a healthy life style is the fact that I can eat cake!! I can eat my favorites: McDonald's ice-cream cone, crabs, key lime pie, etc.  Yes, I eat all those things and I love them. I'm not on a restrictive diet...in fact, I hereby banish the word diet from my vocabulary. I think the word diet will be synonymous with a curse word from now on.

In my transition to healthy living, I include the things I like in moderation. I don't eat them 24-7, but I do eat them. This inclusion  of the things I like keeps me from going overboard.  I started including the things I like in my transition to healthy living, because I realized that when I constantly deny what I want....when I actually get it, I tend to make up for the lost time that I had been denying myself.  So I said enough with that! Instead of binging on sweets, I have one little sweet a day and that works for me:)

Its funny I remember telling one of my friends when she said I'm not doing any carbs right now and I've been losing. I was like thats good that you've been losing, but you will fail. I couldn't even grab the words to stuff them back in my mouth. I wasn't trying to be mean or anything although it sounded that way. I went on to share that we are living....we are not doing a temporary plan or fix to lose weight...can you live without carbs for the rest of your life? some probably can, but most people can't.  So why start something that's not realistic... lets find a plan that we can actually live with.

But we do that all the time. We try to do a quick fix to make it happen.  I know I have. A certain event will motivate us to lose weight or a certain outfit..and then we're back on the weight-o roller coaster.... well the ride stops here! I believe it is possible to have your cake and eat it too...may take some planning!! LOL but its possible, cuz I'm doing it now!

Thought of the week: When I have denied myself the things I really enjoy...what was the  end result? How can I have my cake and eat it too?
 Share your thoughts and Post your comments

The Fall!!

 I remember when I had first decided to be celibate. It had been two years and then I slipped up. I felt awful horrible and that I had let the world down. I remember telling my parents (yes I told them) and feeling so terrible. I felt so horrible that instead of quitting, I felt well hey I've already messed up, I might as well just keep on going. I remember when I came back to my father and told him it had happened again right after the first encounter...he told me, "Tekeah just stop." Simple words that registered.

How many times have we committed to doing something, but then we fall off the wagon. The fall we take can be so devastating at times that we quit and just give up. When I had fallen that time...I wanted to give up and quit and felt like I could never succeed at being celibate for more than 2 years...so why even try. But my father provided a simple solution just stop and try again.

As it concerns our eating, we may have a ruff day, but we don't have to stay off. We can just decide to try again, have a fresh slate at the next meal, or start again the next day. It takes much more energy to try again then it is to give up. Listen, even a dead fish can go with the flow. So I encourage you, that if you feel like you've gotten off...its cool.don't stay there...try again. It's simple: Just Stop and try again.

Post your comments...let me know your thoughts..and share some stories where you got back up:)

Something's Eating Me

My journey to healthy living did not  happen overnight and or turn on one day like a light bulb!! I wish I could say that I woke up one morning and said you know what, I'm tired and I'm going to just eat and live right. I didn't. It was over time that I realized that something literally was eating me...and I used my eating/ lack there of to cope with it.

After failing repeatedly with this thing. I analyzed every failure and set back..after all, I am a therapist, so I did some introspection. I've been really doing some serious self-discovery over the past couple of years. From my self discovery time, I noticed a pattern from re-reading my journal entries, poems, songs, etc. I found there was a specific time that I gained weight the most....in the winter. I found that during the  winter I was most likely to eat all the stuff I had worked so hard not to eat throughout the year. I was most likely to get involved in unhealthy romantic relationships, spend unnecessary money, etc. Needless to say I was most unhappy....and so i filled it with something unhealthy thinking that it would make me happy.

There's a term for this....and a lot of women and people overall do it. Its called emotional eating. When our emotions are stressful or when we're going through, we sometimes eat or don't eat which adversely affects us.  We eat cause food is good...so good at times and it helps us to cope with what is eating us. I'll be honest with you, there are certain foods for me (cakes and pies:), that i feel like i'm having an orgasm (ooh the coconut cream pie shake from Sonic! My God!!)...its just that good to me (sorry, but I'm being honest..u can bleep out that part lol). So I've been trying to do a better job at realizing when I'm emotionally just out of control...cuz that's when I go hard for sweets and whatever I can put my hands on. I haven't arrived yet, and am still working on it.  But self- awareness is key and learning how you cope with stuff helps you to be able to change it.

So here's this week's challenge: If you can journal for a week do it:) if you can only do 3 days do it.... do what you can.  Just jot down your feelings and what you ate for the day. Thats it...and lets discuss the findings (post your comments)