Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Planning to Fail!!--Keepin Fear in the Closet!

I remember the first time I went shopping to get some jeans after I loss weight. I had continued to wear all of my 10s and 8s which were falling off of me. So I thought, okay, I can't belabor this any longer and I went to buy a couple of pair of jeans.  So I tried on the 8s (too big) and then I tried on the 6s (still too big). I was like what in the world is going on! I had on a size 4 and they worked and I still had room (OMG). No stomach rolling over and no suffocating from holding in the stomach. I couldn't believe it, I now wore a size 4. From a size 10 to a 4.

I didn't want to believe it at all. In fact that day, I bought several pairs of jeans courtesy of Macy's sale (tee hee). You'd think I would've bought all 4s, right, but I didn't. Instead  bought 1 size 6...just in case I gained weight (and I felt a lil uncomfortable with wearing a 4).  I was talking with one of my girlfriends when I realized that I was scared. I kept the 6 because of the fear that I would  gain weight or just fail at healthy living. In fact, I kept a lot of stuff in my closet, because I was scared of failing. I thought that if I gained weight at least I'd have those clothes for cushion. Then I realized that I control what is to be and not be-- I determine rather this is a permanent lifestyle or not. I'm controlling this.

So last month,  I decided that this is permanent lifestyle for me and actually went through my closet and packed things up to go.  As I packed up things that were too big, I decided that this is my life and I will not be ruled by fear in any manner and most of all I will not be planning to fail.  I feel free!

Think about the things we've done and how we have unconsciously and sometimes consciously planned to fail.  We let fear rob us of our ultimate super power, our ability to choose. What are you choosing today or is fear deciding for you!

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